Ancestry: Grimes: Maria:

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Our mother! Maria Grimes

A trait I loved about my mother was her relentless love for her children at different levels, this got confusing as you will see below because there were loads of contradictions along the way that confused me not only as being a male but as a child as well, over the years I have managed to separate most of my mothers emotions and weird contradictions of nature and therefore understand her better, I will always love my mother and try to protect her but even to this day I do not totally understand her stupid ways and can only be honest here not like her very much for some of them!



Mum was always trodden down by my father, he took control, he was very strong minded and very, very aggressive in the early years, my sister saw little of this and my brother saw only a little bit, he got better with age, less stress, and giving up the drink! To say I hated my father, as a child would be an understatement, all I ever saw of him was aggression and shouting, him and my mum arguing and mum ending up with black eyes, he once knocked both my mums front teeth out! He hardly ever spoke to me and he was really overbearing with my mum, mum had to hide all the time and cover her face up because of bruises.

Doing as your told:
My mother was constantly scared of stepping out of line with dad, so much so she did not do as much as she should have done as a mother, I do not blame her for this as my dad was scary, he was a real tyrant and even when mum had put her foot down I know she was always frightened of bringing out the beast in my father! This sacrificed an awful lot in my life and I blame only my father for, dad had full control of mum right up until the day he died, not so much as the early years but still enough to stop her from doing what she wanted!


Life acceptance:
Mum was brought up in a time where women just accepted their life (however bad) and I think it is this that kept both my mum and dad together initially; I also think mum blames me a little for being born because she may have otherwise just walked away, it was me that may have forced their marriage, and me that mum stayed with dad for, dads way in his younger years would have drove a saint away so I think personally mum just accepted it and put up with it as women did in those days!

Mellow:
As dad mellowed in his later years I think he may have realised some of his mistakes, he did a lot more for her and it was a strange type of love, for instance the only time they would sit together eating was at Christmas! The rest of the time mum would eat in the lounge and dad in the kitchen? They only really sat together at night when they watched a film, discussion between mum and dad was very distant, but as I say all this got better as he got older but still a few queer elements remained.



Levels of a mothers love:
With every level of my mothers love comes sacrifice, my mums love was strongest for my younger sister, therefore both peter and me were sacrificed at given points, the next level of love was my brother and therefore I would be sacrificed when and if as necessary! By being sacrificed I mean both in love and attention, mum was never balanced this way and never shared love or attention or anything else for that matter equally, where if it was good for one it was good for another that did not exist or she would hide the fact, me, my brother and sister were tiers to a stack and Ann would always be on top, get all the best things, and be treated better! The reason is as follows and it is all to do with instinctive bonds with her children.

 
Ann Grimes Born 1968:
Firstly; it should be said that my sister has all mums’ affections and to say that I thought they were close is an understatement! This is partly due to the amount of time that my sister spent with mum and because she was a girl! Ann had the best life out of the three of us i.e. me, my brother and sister, Ann was spoilt rotten by both our mother and father, and ann came very late in their lives when I (Paul Grimes) was ten years old, by the time ann was 5 years old (and starting to realise her very existence) I was 15 (in my teens) so not paying too much attention to her, by this time mum and dad had made their money, were doing really well and had time to invest in their daughter, I believe this is why Ann got the strongest bond, she was simply just luckier being born later and missed all the start up rubbish of my mum and dads business.

Peter Grimes Born 1965:
Again; not such a rough time as me as mum had started to put her foot down by this time, dad had stopped drinking and the business was getting a little more stable, but enough for peter to remember bits of it when he was 6-7 years old, he was moved out into the glorified sheds because he wanted to be with me his brother not because they needed the rooms for customers, again; he spent more time with our parents and therefore had a better bond, not as good as ann but nevertheless better than myself!

Paul Grimes Born 1959:
Here; was rough, I was born out of wedlock, saw the beginnings of my dads empire and all the nasty bits that came along with it, saw lot’s of beatings and my mother being abused and struck, dad’s drinking habits were awful and eventually I was put outside in a shed on my own to make more room for customers, I was never allowed any school friends and was completely isolated from my mother and father because they were so busy building the business at this time, there is more information elsewhere but that is about it in a nutshell, I never really got the close bond that both my brother and sister had and also my self defense barriers did not help built by myself and my upbringing, also explained elsewhere.


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